Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Randomize
