I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
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