Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
