Have you finally orgasmed yet?
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
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