fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
There are leaves in my underwear?
Randomize