theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
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