Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Randomize
