dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
Randomize
