Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
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