He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
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