DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
Randomize
