This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
Randomize
