i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
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