Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
It was confusing and full of hummus
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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