She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
