I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
Randomize
