we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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