I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
