Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
I'm getting married
To pizza
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize
