Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
Randomize
