Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
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