The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
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