Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
Randomize
