So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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