are you so shy because you have an std?
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
Randomize
