Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
