I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Randomize