I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
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