New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
Randomize
