we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
Randomize
