the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Randomize
