I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
Randomize