hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
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