Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
Your christmas gifts are already wrapped, how on top of my shit am I?
I'm hungover as fuck and had to break into my own house by throwing a cinder block through my back door at 4am. You're more on top of your shit than me.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Randomize
