i think my mom watched the whole time
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
Randomize
