Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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