I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Randomize
