I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
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