I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
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