I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
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