Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
only if we run a train.
done.
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
Everclear isn't food dammit
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
Randomize