Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
My apartment stinks of burning failure
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
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