I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
Randomize