Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
It was like giving head to a cactus.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
Randomize