yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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