I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
