So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
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