Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
I haven't been this sober since birth.
my sisters under your porch take her home
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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