Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
Randomize
