dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
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