your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize
