found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
You dont lie about slip and slides
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
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