note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
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